The Reluctant Christian

For a long time when people asked me if I was a Christian, there must have been a puzzled look on my face as I searched for a way to answer that question. The word Christian comes with so much baggage and expectation and much of both of those I didn't want anything to do with. I always tried to look at my faith through the eyes of someone who didn't necessarily believe, or at least didn't follow a Christian faith.

I think what man has done to Christ is pretty amazing and many times comical. Sometimes intentions were good but many times God was just used to fill personal agendas. I wonder when looking down at the way some faiths are being lived out, if God is just shaking his head in a puzzled sort of way thinking, "y'all have missed it". I think God gets the whole human experience in all we do, as we bounce along the bumpers of life trying to connect, to find that harmony, that union.

This maybe a big limb for some people, but I'm not even sure we can disappoint him. The whole right or wrong thing. Perhaps there's a bit of sadness when we make a decision that takes us out of that harmony, but even those are good to learn from. It's always a journey as we move along the spiral, sometimes closer to our center, sometimes further away. But if we are intentional in our journey of faith, only being in harmony will feel right.

I have read about many forms of faith from Buddhism to Christianity. From Native America to Hindu. I think there is one Creator, and he gave us all a way to see him through our own cultures. . I am a member of a church and I find many good minds there and ones that allow me to expand mine. I hope my thoughts and beliefs will continually take shape as I grow older. For me, the walk and life of Christ is what I'm drawn to. It's what makes sense and is what captures my heart. Most everything else that humans attach to that is suspect and up for grabs. Anything I don't have to earn and is full of the purest love is for me. I believe we are all in this together and God shouldn't be expected to fit in any one box. So with all of the embarrassing TV preachers, the confusion of trying to make sense of it all, I am happy to live within the mystery, and more comfortable in being the reluctant Christian. Trust your heart.

SACRED SPACES

What does the term "Sacred Space" mean to you. It surely doesn't have to be only one thing. There are sacred spaces in conversation and in prayer. Sacred Spaces are often in your mind and in your thought process.

When I started thinking about it, my first images were of physical places. Those places that I hold dearest in my memory. Places where life happened, where unexpected and unplanned conversations brought me closer to people. I've had many of those times around a campfire over the last 20 years. I've had them at home on "my" beach. 

There is one place that seems to tug at my heart more than others though. It's a little kitchen at 121 North M St, in Pensacola, FL. My Grandparents kitchen. It was cozy, kind of like a cocoon. It had paneled walls and indoor/outdoor carpet. There was an old radio on the top of the refrigerator that seemed to play nothing but Gospel music from an AM dial. Through its screen door I would smell the scents of the morning time. The smell of the Gulf Coast mixed with the paper mill and fresh cut grass that blended so wonderfully with the smell and sounds of grits, eggs and bacon frying in her old skillet. Many evenings and late night found us in conversations that I still hold close to this day. These were holy moments in Sacred Spaces to me. The memories of many things that can't be recaptured. They are gone now and someone else is making memories in that house that my Grandfather built and cared for, for over 50 years. 

I'm making more memories however with my children, creating more sacred spaces in conversation, in listening, growing with them. The realization and reminders of my own short comings and mistakes cause me to reflect and have moments of understanding. I have created a space at my house that I affectionally refer to as my "Hogan", after Navajo terminology. It is a space that I have already shared some wonderful conversations about journeys and lives and memories. 

I hope we all can continue to see and create these Sacred Spaces in our lives. My wife has created wonderful Sacred Spaces in her gardens, places where she helps bring things to life, where she thinks and lets her soul flourish. They can be anywhere you wish them to be as God is everywhere and in everything. I've included a couple of pics of Sacred Spaces for me over the years, where life has been shared and the spirit of God made me glad to be right in that moment.

What Do You See God In ?

As a child I was always told that God was the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end and everything in between. That's what they said, but I never really saw much evidence of them believing in that. At least not that way I came to see it as I got older. As I continue the journey looking, searching, and occasionally glimpsing peace, I find it in life's moments. It's usually the small moments, the ones that I used to maybe smile at but never really thought about seeing God in. A few years ago I wrote the lyrics to this song, and so far it comes closest to how I feel.

GOD IN EVERYTHING

I saw God flying 'cross the sky

He was a red tail hawk soarin' high

When he turned into a teardrop

He was fallin' from my eye

I saw God flyin' cross the sky

Now and then I really feel the winds blow

That holy spirit stirs my ragged soul

Remindin' me I'm not alone and

Without pain, I'd have never grown

Now and then I really feel the winds blow

I see God in everything

In a strangers smile and broken dreams

From open arms to fields of green

I see God in everything

He's that mighty river flowin'

Everywhere my achin' hearts goin'

Livin' in the soul of everyman

That's one thing that I've known

He's that mighty river flowin'

I see God in everything

A black hearse rollin' n' angel wings

Wooden crosses to prayer beads

I see God in everything

In a gentle kiss on a moonlit stream

Children's laughter and when life stings

I see God in everything

I see God in everything

Copyright@Glenn Simmons Music

It's a conditioning, sometimes an effort. But I feel God in a strangers handshake, in catching an older persons eyes, in watching friends walk together. Sunsets, rain showers, mourning doves,music, and friends. He's there in it all. Hopefully I can be in the moment more and more, right where God is. I'd like to know where you see God.

Men and Mentors

So here I am living in 2009. United States. Nashville Tennessee. The information age as my friends say. Before you the ink of your signature has dried on the credit card receipt, the new gadget you have, something faster, smarter, and cooler has already hit stores somewhere else. We live in a world of externals. How you look, what you drive, your zip code, the car you drive, all of that "stuff". We don't tend to look however on the inside. 

In a broad sense it makes me wonder what my culture and what I am passing along to my children. More specifically, what do I teach them in regards to being men. Do I encourage them on the path of stuff or the path of spirituality, and not that the inevitable blending isn't all bad. Do I encourage a job and money or maybe "life's work", "a calling". I've seen those folks that seem to be doing just what they were put here for. They make me envious to be honest. It makes me wish I had been led in that direction.

So I don't have any big answers. No huge definitives for my children. I ask them to search and be free to follow a life that is full. One that keeps them circling in good spaces and asking questions that bring them closer to themselves and their Maker. 

They are on their own journeys and will find their mountains and valleys, darkness and light. I hope to give them a glimpse of what it means to be a man. Among the bumps, bruises, and scars, they will see a man of dignity, engaged in his walk. One with faults but is continually striving to grow everyday, and to put his faith and dependence in things that are timeless.